Day 6: Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” on the Lido deck at 8 a.m.

If that post title sounds like the results of a psychedelic hangover, you’d be half right.

Spent our 14th wedding anniversary yesterday kicking around Monte Carlo, specifically at le Casino, where I’d dreams of livin’ it up Bond-style. This could be the world’s only casino where you have to pay to get in (10 euros apiece). Honestly, though, it’s probably worth it just for a glimpse at the décor. Wow.

But the keepers of le Casino clearly don’t want the fanny-packed, buffet-bloated cruising hordes hanging around. They don’t even open the craps table until 5 p.m. – exactly when we were due back at the boat. Quel outrage!

Guess that buyout money I was going to lay on the hard eight is safe. I did sit down at the roulette table long enough to lose 15 euros and gain an appreciation for the utter disdain displayed by the tuxedoed dealers. Impressive.

The big news is the home team actually made a profit at le Casino thanks to a big video poker run by the better half. How big, you ask? 1 euro. Hey, a profit’s a profit! Take that, Bond!

Back on the boat, we celebrated over dinner at the Italian fine-dining (really!) restaurant with two bottles of Italian white.

Which only partly explains Lionel on the Lido deck. Sometime in the night, the ship’s computers decided to go on strike, and we awoke to find the a.c. out and the day’s shore excursions canceled (no Florence this trip – aaargh!) while they try to reboot.

So we bellied up to the buffet breakfast buffet – on the Lido deck, of course. And what greeted us but the dulcet tones of Mr. Richie.

Get me a bloody mary. Stat.